Thursday, February 19, 2009

Not so Itsy Bitsy Bikini

Last night I was a little reflective/emotional. It started when I went through my summer clothes drawer to dig out last year’s bikinis, board shorts, and sundresses. When I was a kid, I remember shopping at endless stores before family vacations to find a swimsuit that fit. One year my mom took me to a local seamstress with god awful fabrics to make a swimsuit to fit my size 16 figure. I hated that swimsuit and hated my body at age 12. I dreamed of a day where I would have a flattering shape and jet set to tropical locations with beautiful clothes to match.

A lot of people would say that all kids have baby fat, but it was more than just chubby and looking terrible in a swimsuit. I was so self conscious and unhappy that I didn’t enjoy being around water (which I’ve now grown to love). This general discomfort with my body continued into my 20s, and moving to California from Oregon after college was a shock! I started playing beach volleyball and admired girls who could throw on a bikini top and hit the beach. It doesn’t help that I severely burn in the sun (effect of Lupus) and can’t “lay out.” Thank goodness for spray tanning!

I’m still really modest, but last night as I tried on all my cute stuff, I took a step back to appreciate my body and my efforts to stay fit the last few years. I will never a figure that looks great in a bikini (small chest and a tummy that still wobbles after a zillion workouts), but at least I can put one on and like what I see. And more importantly, I can focus on having a great time poolside/beachside without being self conscious. At 28, it’s about time! I started to think how the little me back then would be so proud of where I’m at today and how hard I’ve worked to be able to "jet set" in my spare time. Check out my travel page and map here – What is your all time favorite place in the whole world and why?


Anonymous said...

my favorite place in the whole wide world is st. johns. I had the most amazing vacation with my family there and the islanders are great!

Anonymous said...

I know how you feel about the sun and lupus - the beach umbrella is my best friend =) My favorite place in the world is probably aruba or Nassau, Bahamas - its more of the memories I have from there rather than the actual islands itself

Amber said...

I had a bikini very similar to the one pictured when I was in high school. Walmart special. I wasn't the thinnest or fittest girl when I was in high school but I wore my bikini's with confidence and I think that makes all the difference. I need to find some of that confidence now.. I haven't worn a bikini in three or four years!

Anais said...

Good job on liking your body! I know that sounds funny, but I am definitely not there yet...I would pretty much exchange it with anyone right now...I've never worn a bikini and would definitely love to be comfortable enough to do that one day!

And as for my favorite place...well, there are so many! But right now, I would love to be in Cinque Terre, Italy. If you google it, you'll see how beautiful it is!!